MISCELLANY 92
BARON MUNCHAUSEN'S LION (OR LYIN')
[THE BARON IS SUPPOSED TO RELATE THESE
ADVENTURES TO HIS FRIENDS OVER A BOTTLE.]
The
Baron relates an account of his first travels—The astonishing effects of a
storm—Arrives at Ceylon; combats and conquers two extraordinary
opponents—Returns to Holland.
Some years
before my beard announced approaching manhood, or, in other words, when I was
neither man nor boy, but between both, I expressed in repeated conversations a
strong desire of seeing the world, from which I was discouraged by my parents,
though my father had been no inconsiderable traveller himself, as will appear
before I have reached the end of my singular, and, I may add, interesting
adventures. A cousin, by my mother's side, took a liking to me, often said I
was fine forward youth, and was much inclined to gratify my curiosity. His
eloquence had more effect than mine, for my father consented to my accompanying
him in a voyage to the island of Ceylon, where his uncle had resided as
governor many years.
We sailed
from Amsterdam with despatches from their High Mightinesses the States of
Holland. The only circumstance which happened on our voyage worth relating was
the wonderful effects of a storm, which had torn up by the roots a great number
of trees of enormous bulk and height, in an island where we lay at anchor to
take in wood and water; some of these trees weighed many tons, yet they were
carried by the wind so amazingly high, that they appeared like the feathers of
small birds floating in the air, for they were at least five miles above the
earth: however, as soon as the storm subsided they all fell perpendicularly
into their respective places, and took root again, except the largest, which
happened, when it was blown into the air, to have a man and his wife, a very
honest old couple, upon its branches, gathering cucumbers (in this part of the
globe that useful vegetable grows upon trees): the weight of this couple, as
the tree descended, over-balanced the trunk, and brought it down in a
horizontal position: it fell upon the chief man of the island, and killed him
on the spot; he had quitted his house in the storm, under an apprehension of
its falling upon him, and was returning through his own garden when this
fortunate accident happened. The word fortunate, here, requires some
explanation. This chief was a man of a very avaricious and oppressive
disposition, and though he had no family, the natives of the island were
half-starved by his oppressive and infamous impositions.
The very
goods which he had thus taken from them were spoiling in his stores, while the
poor wretches from whom they were plundered were pining in poverty. Though the
destruction of this tyrant was accidental, the people chose the
cucumber-gatherers for their governors, as a mark of their gratitude for
destroying, though accidentally, their late tyrant.
After we
had repaired the damages we sustained in this remarkable storm, and taken leave
of the new governor and his lady, we sailed with a fair wind for the object of
our voyage.
In about
six weeks we arrived at Ceylon, where we were received with great marks of
friendship and true politeness. The following singular adventures may not prove
unentertaining.
After we
had resided at Ceylon about a fortnight I accompanied one of the governor's
brothers upon a shooting party. He was a strong, athletic man, and being used
to that climate (for he had resided there some years), he bore the violent heat
of the sun much better than I could; in our excursion he had made a
considerable progress through a thick wood when I was only at the entrance.
Near the
banks of a large piece of water, which had engaged my attention, I thought I
heard a rustling noise behind; on turning about I was almost petrified (as who
would not be?) at the sight of a lion, which was evidently approaching with the
intention of satisfying his appetite with my poor carcase, and that without
asking my consent. What was to be done in this horrible dilemma? I had not even
a moment for reflection; my piece was only charged with swan-shot, and I had no
other about me: however, though I could have no idea of killing such an animal
with that weak kind of ammunition, yet I had some hopes of frightening him by
the report, and perhaps of wounding him also. I immediately let fly, without
waiting till he was within reach, and the report did but enrage him, for he now
quickened his pace, and seemed to approach me full speed: I attempted to
escape, but that only added (if an addition could be made) to my distress; for
the moment I turned about I found a large crocodile, with his mouth extended
almost ready to receive me. On my right hand was the piece of water before
mentioned, and on my left a deep precipice, said to have, as I have since
learned, a receptacle at the bottom for venomous creatures; in short I gave
myself up as lost, for the lion was now upon his hind-legs, just in the act of
seizing me; I fell involuntarily to the ground with fear, and, as it afterwards
appeared, he sprang over me. I lay some time in a situation which no language
can describe, expecting to feel his teeth or talons in some part of me every
moment: after waiting in this prostrate situation a few seconds I heard a
violent but unusual noise, different from any sound that had ever before
assailed my ears; nor is it at all to be wondered at, when I inform you from
whence it proceeded: after listening for some time, I ventured to raise my head
and look round, when, to my unspeakable joy, I perceived the lion had, by the
eagerness with which he sprung at me, jumped forward, as I fell, into the
crocodile's mouth! which, as before observed, was wide open; the head of the
one stuck in the throat of the other! and they were struggling to extricate themselves!
I fortunately recollected my couteau de chasse, which was by my side;
with this instrument I severed the lion's head at one blow, and the body fell
at my feet! I then, with the butt-end of my fowling-piece, rammed the head
farther into the throat of the crocodile, and destroyed him by suffocation, for
he could neither gorge nor eject it.
Soon after
I had thus gained a complete victory over my two powerful adversaries, my
companion arrived in search of me; for finding I did not follow him into the
wood, he returned, apprehending I had lost my way, or met with some accident.
After
mutual congratulations, we measured the crocodile, which was just forty feet in
length.
As soon as
we had related this extraordinary adventure to the governor, he sent a waggon
and servants, who brought home the two carcases. The lion's skin was properly
preserved, with its hair on, after which it was made into tobacco-pouches, and
presented by me, upon our return to Holland, to the burgomasters, who, in
return, requested my acceptance of a thousand ducats.
The skin
of the crocodile was stuffed in the usual manner, and makes a capital article
in their public museum at Amsterdam, where the exhibitor relates the whole
story to each spectator, with such additions as he thinks proper. Some of his
variations are rather extravagant; one of them is, that the lion jumped quite
through the crocodile, and was making his escape at the back door, when, as
soon as his head appeared, Monsieur the Great Baron (as he is pleased to call me)
cut it off, and three feet of the crocodile's tail along with it; nay, so
little attention has this fellow to the truth, that he sometimes adds, as soon
as the crocodile missed his tail, he turned about, snatched the couteau de
chasse out of Monsieur's hand, and swallowed it with such eagerness that it
pierced his heart and killed him immediately!
The little
regard which this impudent knave has to veracity makes me sometimes
apprehensive that my real facts may fall under suspicion, by being found
in company with his confounded inventions.
We shall return
to Baron Munchausen from time to time, honestly...
